PAWS

Post Accute Withdrawal Syndrome - There is no cure.. And the only remedy is to utilize the tools we learn in recovery.. I figure, the more I know about my disease, the better.. Now, I'm not saying self-knowledge is the cure, but awareness is useful..

PAWS seems to rear its ugly head aound 14 days, 30-60 days, 6 months, and a year into sobriety. Its that intense emotional urge to.. act out; use; etc. We feel squirly, irritable, and off balance..

I just celebrated 1 year of sobriety (don't get all excited.. I've been here before).. I just opened a recovery store, I have lots of sober friends, I pray in the morning, at night, and throughout the day, I work the steps, talk to my sponsor.. But it was a week since I had been to a meeting.. I'm doing ALMOST everything I'm supposed to be doing..

I had a using dream last night.. It was SO real.. I woke up thinking I totally blew it!! My heart was pounding, I was sweating.. It scared the ---- outta me..

Cunning, baffling, and powerful!! Was that a sign from God, telling me to get my butt to a meeting? Or a chemical imbalance in my brain (PAWS)? Whatever it was I got to work.. First thing I did was call my sponsor and talked about it.. Then I went outside to meditate and connect with my Higher Power.. Then I got myself to a meeting.. And guess what? I heard EXACTLY what I needed to hear..

The moral to this story is this.. This is a 24 hour program.. It doesn't matter how much time you have.. Any wise oldtimer will tell you that he is not any further away from that first drink as you or me.. We must stay vigilant and guard against this disease.. Our lives are at stake.. Its like a monster that never sleeps, waiting, watching.. Don't give in.. And never give up..